This photo was taken a year ago when I was feeling relatively fancy-free. Oh what a difference a year can make!!! (both in hairstyle and general attitude)

I am trying to resist the urge to spout rude expletives about my ex at the moment and it's proving quite difficult. That that doesn't kill us only serves to make us stronger and all that. Bring it on then! Anyone who fucks with me shall LOSE. My friends I love dearly. Fuck the rest of you (I am echoing the sentiments of a certain H.Ren here but I think we are in tune with each other about quite a few things). Love you H.Ren. You rock xxx (oh you too Mike, not that you bother reading this, but I wouldn't want you to feel left out. You are amazing and mean more to me than any of the bullshit that happens)

In a beautiful daze after beautiful days

I am back at work after an impromptu visit to beautiful days festival near Exeter, prompted by Sian's lack of transport for Des the drummers kit. Mike offered the services of us and the volvo so we ended up getting in for free and having a debauched night (only slightly marred by the fact that we thought Mike had lost the car keys...after he spent a large part of the night bouncing between security, lost and found, information and production all around the site I found them on the floor in Sian's tent, where they had been all along). What a great festival - really nice vibe, a site small enough to not be able to get lost, well maintained loos, lots of kids running around. It was really lovely.

Saw the Pogues live for the first time ever - it was a first for all of us. They were brilliant, and it made my night when they played Sally Maclannan. Caused a bit of mischief with a very funny girl when we decided that the man in front of us was too boring and should dance. He buggered off as I think we scared him away...and then came back and stood in the same place again - bad mistake. I dared Mike to give him a wedgie but he wouldn't do it! (probably down to the fact that we couldn't work out where his arse started...). We all topped this off with much fun in the green room bar and far too many naughty chemicals, lots of cider and when we finally went back to the camping area (5.30 am) sleep was impossible.

Anyhoo, I am now very very tired and may have to have a bit of a lunch time disco nap to try and catch up.

Bristol City Council have gone and done an attachment of earnings order on me!!!

I just lost almost £500 from my months pay and now I am in the awkward position of having to work out how the hell I am going to pay the mortgage etc and have money to live on this month (as i already lost £370 for unpaid sick time).

Time for a webcam and an interesting shoe collection perhaps???

This is the kind of thing which drives women into porn. I could deal with painting my toenails for cash...

Can't wait for the weekend - going to Bude with Mike, my little boy and his mate Matthew (who happens to be the world's fussiest eater but hey ho). It's been so long since I had even a small holiday that this is like the most exciting thing ever.

When back I am starting a concerted campaign of self promotion (on the musical side of things). Still haven't heard back from Chris re Barbarella and I am not letting this slip through my fingers due to inaction!!!!

It looks like there may be an end in sight to this goddamn lurgy which has been driving me nuts as for the first time in a week I'm feeling almost human. Earlier was a different matter - felt horribly sick for the whole morning and couldn't face the thought of eating anything till lunchtime. Yesterday's doctors visit had her asking me if I'd been in contact with anyone with Swine flu - which apparently I have (Mike told me later on), but I nodded dumbly and said 'duh...don't think so'. So i have probably infected the entire office and it'll be all Roger's fault as his implication that i would lose my job/face disciplinary action if I take any time off sick this month has had me coming in out of fear even though i quite obviously should have been at home in bed. Nice one Roger!!

This evening will be mainly spent lounging around doing nothing and tomorrow is another day - hopefully healthy. Fingers crossed.

after spending the weekend mostly doing very little in the hope that it might make me feel less like death on a tick, I now feel like death on a stick...with a hacking cough and boots to match.

Mike said that we're getting to old to do this shit any more (referring to the shit from the weekend before). I have to say, right now I tend to agree with him. but i can guarantee that there will be a next time for both of us, so it's a very nice hypothesis but that is all it is.

Off to the doctor this afternoon to make sure that the hacking cough isn't going to turn into enphysemia. With a bit of luck he/she will give me some magic pills and make everything better.

Apparently the full moon eclipse in Aquarius means that I'm going to undergo some kind of creative surge. I think that it might have actually started surging pre-emptively with me, but is currently undergoing what I can only describe as a lull due to uninspiring surroundings (the office I work in during the week) and feeling as though someone has trampled on me with hobnail boots on. One thing I will say is that i am getting very interested in the idea of studying astrology properly but I'm held back by the idea that i DO NOT WANT TO END UP LIKE MY MOTHER. Who is most decidedly mental and very annoying with it.

Is it possible to take onboard some of the things we learned from growing up with our parents without eventually turning into them? I'd like to know if it is, as the thought that I could become a dogmatic mentalist obsessed with life as some kind of concentric circle who wears sports sandals with white socks and tracksuit bottoms with shalwar kameez scares the living shit out of me.

I have one question to ask today - why is it that men assume that it's all about them?

Answers on a postcard please...

I have been asking myself the above question since 4 o'clock this morning. Egocentric isn't the word for it. I think from the response that he got at the point where he made the assumption that he has worked out that it's not wise to make these assumptions unless you want your head bitten off.

Back to sleep now (I wish)

Looks like I have managed to score myself a job as new female resident of Barbarella once a month - although we shall see how the first one goes andf if I am expected to do more after (as I was too spannered on saturday night to have an accurate memory of whether or not Chris asked me to be resident or just a one off - thinkit was the former but who knows until i talk to him about it sober....) Not bad work for a weekend. A good time was had by all (apart from my neighbour who no doubt has registered complaints with anyone who'll listen about noise levels yesterday morning). Joe le Groove is a very funny man and a brilliant DJ. He was still crashed out on our sofa when Mike brought me to work this morning...and he was supposed to be doing something back home in London at 9am. Never mind. Hopefully it wasn't important.